circles in my mind

it's 1:55am,

i tend to make lists when i get stuck so here are the things i know to be true:

- i feel stuck

- i can't tell whether i am growing or not

- i miss performing

- i space out a lot these days

- i wish i was better at using proper tech equipment

- i wish i knew how to use a camera properly

- i wish i wasn't as hesitant as i currently am to start learning more

- i want to step beyond what i know, but i keep enjoying its warmth

- i am very competitive, and i have a hard time admitting it

- this is making my mental health worse

- i wish i wasn't so competitive, i wish i didn't compare myself to everyone so much

- i really want a strawberry cream cheese danish delight right now

- i wish i didn't have to worry about money as much as i do

- i wish i was able to focus on art earlier, i think that's what i like

- i am very worried about the near, and distant future

- i feel okay, and not okay all the time and i hate that

- i wish i knew what i was really good at, i sometimes don't like being a chameleon

- i kind of want to add a comment section to these posts, thoughts?

- i can't recall my favourite thing about today

- i don't feel much these days

- i keep worrying about the same untrue things

- i'm so grateful and i don't want to mess things up

- i "don't" a lot of things

- i don't want people to get worried about me, i just want to put this here

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zips, cigs and my old man

the thing about spending uninterrupted time with your family —not to say that the time could not be voluntarily interrupted by smart screens— is that it can allow you to notice all the things you hate