hyperlinked

what i remember

is coloured cardstock on laundry bins i drew for mum that one day after school

yellow for lights and blue for darks

and doodles of respective apparels still suck on those bins even now


what i remember

is trying cold brew before googling what makes cold brew cold brew

and then liking cold brew even more with salted cream

seeing the search result of it less likely leading to heart disease


what i remember

is reaching for his hand without considering what that would mean to him

the boy brave enough to bite the snapchat trap of my pink patterned skirt

and brave enough to only let our knuckles brush

what i remember

is time alone

earrings the size of an ear beside a hyperlinked laptop screen

and headphones that have probably made people wonder why i’m even outside for work

and what i wonder

is why i remember things so little so much

and likewise feel like i’m sitting on my own shoulder watching a sitcom unfold

like i was, am, there

but i wasn’t, am not

and how that does and doesn’t make sense

and how that’s why i label and search and grasp for conclusions because wasn’t that so?

if i were there, i would know


and i can list for you what i remember

and i likewise cannot

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