what i remember
is coloured cardstock on laundry bins i drew for mum that one day after school
yellow for lights and blue for darks
and doodles of respective apparels still suck on those bins even now
what i remember
is trying cold brew before googling what makes cold brew cold brew
and then liking cold brew even more with salted cream
seeing the search result of it less likely leading to heart disease
what i remember
is reaching for his hand without considering what that would mean to him
the boy brave enough to bite the snapchat trap of my pink patterned skirt
and brave enough to only let our knuckles brush
what i remember
is time alone
earrings the size of an ear beside a hyperlinked laptop screen
and headphones that have probably made people wonder why i’m even outside for work
and what i wonder
is why i remember things so little so much
and likewise feel like i’m sitting on my own shoulder watching a sitcom unfold
like i was, am, there
but i wasn’t, am not
and how that does and doesn’t make sense
and how that’s why i label and search and grasp for conclusions because wasn’t that so?
if i were there, i would know
and i can list for you what i remember
and i likewise cannot