forgetmenot (fear of feeling too much)

i am by the ocean

on these quieter days

when i sit in remnants of

sweet sea kisses

and 2am whiskey serendipity

i tug on the grass

and imagine what it would be like to not be here

whether i’d hated and loved

whether i’d lived all this life

and yet not known it at all

i am by the ocean

and i am learning to love how i am loved

for i don’t think i was quite aware

that when i mumbled

“let them in”

“them” i referred to me

my frequent miscalculations

my fickle fear of feeling too much

and yet having not felt enough

you come and sit, i’m by the ocean

and i admit that i’m afraid

for now that i’ve seen what’s to see of me

for how dear you are to me

you must leave

for when the waves get loud

i’d rather there be nothing

than there be not enough days

for when it’s just the ocean

and the forget-me-nots sway

of sea sweet kisses

of black and velvet and meant to be

i am afraid you’ll be by the ocean

feeling too much

having not seen enough of me