i am by the ocean
on these quieter days
when i sit in remnants of
sweet sea kisses
and 2am whiskey serendipity
i tug on the grass
and imagine what it would be like to not be here
whether i’d hated and loved
whether i’d lived all this life
and yet not known it at all
i am by the ocean
and i am learning to love how i am loved
for i don’t think i was quite aware
that when i mumbled
“let them in”
“them” i referred to me
my frequent miscalculations
my fickle fear of feeling too much
and yet having not felt enough
you come and sit, i’m by the ocean
and i admit that i’m afraid
for now that i’ve seen what’s to see of me
for how dear you are to me
you must leave
for when the waves get loud
i’d rather there be nothing
than there be not enough days
for when it’s just the ocean
and the forget-me-nots sway
of sea sweet kisses
of black and velvet and meant to be
i am afraid you’ll be by the ocean
feeling too much
having not seen enough of me