how do i tell my depression i am seeing someone new

i slip silent from the covers

i am awake, i woke alone

my chair hangs his dinner jacket new

where i took it off and then fucked you

where there’d be a slight tug on my shirt

or a tip tap on my head

a full on groan so callous of

the way you’d call me back to bed

the way you’d tuck soft in my neck

when it’s drizzling, when it’s warm

when all i want is to be in the sea

when all you want is to be with me

and i won’t admit it anywhere else

but i’ll admit that i missed this too

god forbid i find out who i really am

god forbid there be more than you